Touched by Eternity

Fatso, a self-proclaimed cryptocurrency guru, is a middle-aged grouch who spends his time playing video games and watching conspiracy theory videos. He has been fixated on the idea of living forever since he was a child and dabbles in dubious methods to achieve immortality, all while wallowing in misery. One day, two unexpected visitors, Egons and Carlos, show up at his secluded trailer in the woods, asking to come inside. They bring him the news that he has been chosen for a special fate. Tapping into his cowardly, reclusive nature, they entice him with promises of a new, exciting life as a vampire, suggesting that his transition to the undead will be effortless.